Where are you going in such a hurry? – E08
How fast are you moving forward? Do you like speed? How do you feel when you’re alone with nothing to do? Are you ready for emptiness?
Welcome to my next episode.
Listen to “08 – Where are you going in such a hurry?” on Spreaker.Transcription
How fast are you moving forward? Do you like speed? How do you feel when you’re alone with nothing to do? Are you ready for emptiness?
Welcome to my next episode.
This is the podcast 8 Minutes to Success. I’m Kinga Panufnik and I invite you to spend the next 8 minutes with me.
On my way to success I’ve learnt a lot from others. That is why I’ d like to share my personal experience with you.
Welcome.
One day at work I was very busy – as always though, I had very tight deadlines, and my schedule was full. But that week I was extremely busy because I was about to leave the office for a few days to attend some meetings in Warsaw. Everything had been planned a few days ahead. I tried to do as much as I could before leaving.
Suddenly, one colleague came to my office asking for help. He seemed to be very anxious about the problem he was facing and he asked me for help. I figured out that I would need at least approximately 20 minutes to talk to him to solve the problem. I did my best to rearrange my schedule. I was thinking about what I could postpone, or maybe to shorten some meetings so I could squeeze in a meeting with him between two other appointments. It was impossible though. There was no way to find time that day. I was looking for another day – and I realized I would be away for the next few days. So I tried to find some time for him on that day. In the end, I gave up looking and I said: “The only time I can offer you is in four days”. I hadn’t even finished my explanation, when he interrupted me with a relaxed voice: “OK. That’s fine. It’s not that urgent”.
When he left my office I took some time to reflect. I realized that this situation had given me a new and important image of myself. I’d assumed that I had been looking at others from my own perspective, without even asking them about their own needs. I found out that this rush, the need to do everything immediately, wasn’t driven by external factors but came from within me. Something was pushing me to think, to do, and to act in a very frantic way. The pace I had in my mind was like a roller-coaster, but the funny thing is that people who know me would never say that I am a fun of roller-coasters because in reality I don’t like speed. This was only in my mind though. I used to be someone who preferred to keep their feet firmly on the ground because I had my speedway in my brain which allowed me to work extremely hard.
From then on, any time somebody asked me for a meeting I offered them a time which didn’t interrupt my plans and didn’t force me to go to extremes. I also asked people how urgent the situation was.
The rhythm we have inside us is the rhythm of our life. Usually this occurs not only at work, but also even after leaving the office we are constantly thinking while driving, or even cooking at home. At home we are also busy doing so many tasks, in a constant hurry. Have you ever urged your kids to hurry up before leaving home, or rushed them to the dinner table? Is your mind in a state of hurry? Mine was.
It’s not easy to slow down this speedy rhythm but if we manage to do it, it can heal not only our mind, but also our soul and even our body in the end. Sometimes our life imposes changes on us when we have an accident, or when we get seriously ill. This often forces us to stop and revalue our lives.
If you are in a permanent rush, and you have everything planned ahead in order to feeling control, you probably won’t be able to set aside time just for yourself. When have you taken a little “me” time, sometime just for yourself.
I want to recommend you to look at a few steps which can help you to make such a change:
The first step is to become aware of it. Be honest with yourself by asking if you really like your rhythm. Why am I asking that? Because we are perfect liars to ourselves. How far do we have to move to the extreme, or how far driven to the wall must we be to tell the truth to ourselves.
The second step is to make a small change in your schedule in order to try to find time for a little fun. Don’t expect to feel good about this. You will probably feel guilty and uncomfortable, but this is OK, because it is difficult to change a pattern that you’ve become very used to. I once asked my extremely-well organized friend if she acts spontaneously and she replied without any hesitation: “Yes of course, as soon as I’ve planned it.”
The small change can be connected with your hobbies, your time with the kids, or your time with your spouse. I recommend going for a walk every two days. For a walk, walk – not for a run. Be aware of how fast your chariot goes. Do you feel that you are wasting time while walking in the forest? If “yes”, this means your chariot is travelling much faster than your legs.
The third step is to look at yourself after some time and check if this small step has been implemented properly and you feel completely normal with it now.
And a challenge that I have for you for next week:
Look at yourself how you eat. Because this shows a lot about us, about our speed, our pace and rhythm in life, our chariot. Be aware of how quickly you eat and what else you are doing during the meal. What’s it like when you eat with your family? Do you interact and talk or do you simply sit together in your own little worlds? What is each member of your family focused on? Is somebody watching TV? Are they looking at their smartphones? Or maybe there’s someone who needs to finish reading the newspaper? Do you make eye contact while talking?
This is the first picture of yourself – how you eat with others?
And now, look at yourself, how do you eat when you are alone. I think this gives us a very brutal picture of our minds. Do you find the time to sit down or do you just grab something on the hoof? Do you actually properly cook for yourself when you are alone or do you just eat whatever is immediately available? How many times do you say to yourself – “I’ll only do this today” but you end up doing it every day? Do you celebrate meals? Do you use them as an opportunity to rest?
Think about it, be conscious of it. Change something if you feel it’s better to do it in another way.
Treat yourself as the best guest you can eat with. Celebrate spending time with yourself like you’re with the best friend you’ve ever had and that time with this friend is precious. Respect the time you are able to spend with yourself.
That’s all for today.
See you next time.
Bye, bye.
This was 8 Minutes to Success. If I’ve left you wanting more that’s great. It’s much healthier to stay a little hungry rather than eat too much and feel sick. I hope you will listen to my next episode. To avoid missing any I recommend that you sign up for the newsletter on my website www.8minutestosuccess.com and the next episode will be sent to your email straight from the production line. Don’t be afraid I won’t be bringing this out every day. Don’t forget to subscribe. Would also be nice to get some comments from you and if you feel it’s worthy you can share it with your friends.
Take care. Bye, bye.